Lady Helen Mason

1922

• Good Sammy hires Jim, Robert and Lady Helen Mason

• Mage in the floor boards

• Shapeshifting demon wears Helen’s skin of helen’s aunt

• Jim burns new york slums to kill vampire

• Punch and Judy Puppets

• Had an epiphany and met Isis in a dream. Apparently I'm her long lost descendant.

• Was in lesbians with Nefti, servant of Isis and set on a fetch quest

• Met Reginald and helped him with a Hound of Tindalos puppy and gave it back its dimensional plaything

• We went to the Winchester house right and it flooded with blood

• And we encountered Baba Yaga and there were so many dead babies

• We actually met three of them

• Also old wizards cannot coordinate attacks

• That awkward moment when you save Hitler and get a signed copy of Mein Kampf

• A jewish mage and his golem went to kill hitler. Somehow we saved Hitler and fucking Kieran shot the Jew.

• Jim also lost a leg here

• Dan’s Engineer friend appears somewhere here

• We went to Poland I believe and shot werewolf super soldiers?

• It was a set up and we started WW2 preparations early

• Dan’s Engineer friend was ‘accidentally’ killed by Shaun Ryans here

• Ernst Volks (German Sniper) was found here along with Jim the Werewolf

1929 onwards to 1931

• Wow we time travelled 7 years thanks to a fucking library

• House arrest in County Cork

• Escape through fey ring to dreamlands

• Teaching goblins about fences

• Dwarven breadstick fighting

• Acquired cabbages

• Materialised in an arms factory

• Distract guards by handing them cabbages so they can be taken out, catching the cabbage each time for style points.

• Escape to Austria using this method

• The group went in hiding for a bit, travelling to the border of Austria. On the train there, they remet Siobhan, who was also hiding due to her involvement with the group. Once in the town, they felt a distinctly dark aura, and followed it… only to find Dracula. Siobhan splooshed for him, but Dracula was far more interested in Sankar (Ryan), Lady Helen’s porter. He was given to her by her darling uncle. Conversing with Dracula initiated the groups efforts to go to India. Siobhan tried to flirt with Dracula to the point where he also went to India…. Not because he liked her… but out of spite.

• Once in India, the party had to run away due to sudden Nazis. Dracula decided to demonise the Nazis, because they were against the Pope, so he killed locals and made them into swastikas. Strangely this was not our idea. While evacuating, the party met Gregory Williams (Karis), who joined because he was bored. We travelled north toward China. On our way we found a shapeshifting demon, which had stolen Sankar’s voice. The demon pretended to be Gregory, but when it agreed with Dracula being a vampire (real Gregory did not know), we killed it… Not without a groin crushing blow happening. We continued to China after this.

• Once in China, looking for another of Isis' items, Siobhan was sucked in by the Chinese government into taking care of precious items. And threatened a lot. While she obtained information (and was terrified for her life), others planned to break in/intercept an amulet which was the item. During their raid, however, every single government group: England, China, Japan, Germany and someone else… all tried to retrieve the piece. It became a battlefield. Jim began to wolf out after killing a Chinese sniper/scout. Inside and away from the shitshow, Siobhan was face to face with a sudden lich, brought to life by the amulet. Said lich bashed her face in, and the rest of the party managed to save her. Jim rushed in to help, despite being a wolf, scaring Ernst Volk (Liam), and causing him to shoot Jim. So Jim ate him… and liked it. We managed to retrieve the item, and we fled to England with the soldiers. Because we met Harold… Gregory’s brother. He picked us up. Best bro ever.

• Meanwhile… Dracula began to mind rape people into bathing… So he could drink… enslave a city.

• The party is flown to England, where they met the King. He gives Jim a suit to expand with him, and a wristwatch. We then met the Williams family and had…. ‘TEA’. We then went to a party, meant to be fun, but met evil badguys. Who tried to gun the place down. We ran back to the Williams house, only to find Williams Snr very dead. Turns out that he was dead because of the White Knights, who thought the party were evil cultists. The Knights, finding out that we weren’t evil… just clueless, gave us a babysitter, Alejo (Melody). Siobhan decided to work for them at a dig-site.

• JIM BURNT MORE SLUMS TO FIGHT THE CHINESE VAMPIRE. HOW DO YOU FUCK UP THAT BADLY?

• Headed to China to get another of Isis' items and apparently we have ice rays. And the item can animate terracotta soldiers.

• Fucking gregory williams and his fucking brother

• Also Helen shot a Litch. It was awesome.

• Enrst was eaten by Jim

• How the fuck did we befriend dracula

• How the fuck did we enslave india

• At some point met Sankar- my porter who is also a vampire

• A FUCKING PORTER THAT SUMMONED AZATHOTH WHILE I WAS OFF HEALING AND NEARLY WIPED THE PARTY

• So a mountain was actually a giant and we asked it to move so we could get to the fountain of life.

• Water zombies everywhere

• Went to England and Gregory William's family died.

• We saw the Messenger again

• Met the White Knights and gained Alejo

• Went on a boat which had zombies, and we got to a port. At Port, Alejo was abandoned.

• The wish granting incident. Helen did not get her wish because she wished for the extinction of gods

• Get back to Port to find passed off Spaniard.... I think that was in the Netherlands. Alejo tried killing Luke

• alejo and the living armour

• The north boxer die

• A byakhee got me but Gregory saved me at the cost of my bones OW

• WHY DID YOU BET WITH HAROLD YOU CAN MAKE THAT SHOT

• Frenchie ran away and dies as a result. Alejo went 'fuck this shit I'm out....' summoned a dragon and they went to Paris.

• Fucking frenchie

• Fucking leg is gone.

• Why the fuck did a fire engine hit me?

• That's where jack frost and pied piper happened, and Alejo had to investigate a lot because Helen was in OWland. This is where James old man got speared. He didn't die, but was retired.... Also Shangai blew up the side of our hotel, so we ran to the country...

• Whilst there, we got attacked... And this is where Gregory got grenade to the back. England lifted us out.

• We then went to a house which was used for filming when shit started happening...

• We also met Miss Nancy Hart, a pleb.

• WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE SO MANY PUPPETS? aniseed carpets and silver needles

• This had the aniseed floors and the living armour. Which punched alejo... And concussed him... Then he got brain damage, so was out afterward...

• Dracula said hi in hospital and gave me a useful book

• Oh yeah we went to the Vatican and there's a fuck ton of cult stuff hidden away

• met Siobhan there, and she flopped Isolde onto you guys...

• We did meet the pope

• Sent us to a magic spring in the mountains and Dan didnt sit the fuck down and burnt himself with borrrowed power

• Holy shit how do you 4D house

• And then Jim was a cultist and Helen was fucking done.

• Jim killed so many innocent werewolves pretending to be Amish.

• A heatwave in New York was caused by some dick wizard flaunting his book. The result was Helen under a door and still fucking done. Fire Vampires in New York/Manhatten.

• Sent to fix the university 4D vault and nearly died in the process. Everyone else died

• And Nancy, Jim and Sheila died... RIP

• Fish shennanigans

• Went to town near innsmouth... to look into fish cults after Dan was told to

• Also, Isolde died of tsunami. Te Whiro looked at Dan at night, causing Dan to hate life....

• We got some of the wrong people.... thanks to the shantak